my contract with china

I ordered Chinese food for lunch today and for the first time in a long time I ate the fortune cookie that came with the meal. Generally speaking, I avoid these cookies. Not due to any bleak omens that they portend but rather because I find them to be rather crappy tasting. Today, however, in desperation of something sweet, I gave in.

I crack the stupid thing in half, pull out my fortune and read...

"Success will find its way to you in all which you undertake"

For the record, I've decided that this constitutes a binding contract between me and all China. Therefore, I am hereby holding China, and all the people therein, accountable for my future success and happiness until I decide otherwise.

This being said, China better start getting its ass in gear! Consider yourself warned.

Any breach of contract, and you better believe that I have every intention of boycotting your fortune cookies, possibly forever.