proper i.d. required

Last night, I headed out with Randy and Craig to a bar/restaurant called 'The Clubhouse'. Basically, if you took a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant, added alcohol, and then touted yourself as a 'family' restaurant where single folks could still come to drink and try out their latest pick-up lines, you'd have a decent description of The Clubhouse. Also included here were some games in various states of disrepair, such as Skee-ball, pool tables, dart boards, and a few video games.

The Clubhouse, which doesn't seem to know which crowd they want to target, allow kids, teens, adults, senior citizens...and everybody, entrance into their establishment. But only those people over 21 have access to the bar and the skee-ball/pool hall/dart board area.

We arrived and, to gain access to the little bar area, I.D.s were required, which Randy and I had. Craig, however, had decided not to have his drivers' license renewed once it had expired. "I'm not going to let 'The Man' dictate what I need in order to drive," he told us.

So, the small, beefy bouncer refused to let Craig up to the bar. Craig pulled out his social security card. The bouncer said, with a smirk, 'no picture on it. You're not getting in.'

Now, Craig is not one of these 30 year olds that look 18. Rather, he pretty much looks 30. Still, for whatever reason, be it abuse in a former life or just the need to jerk someone around, the bouncer wasn't budging. Randy bought drinks, and Craig walked around the side of the bar to the skee-ball/pool hall/dart board area, clearly violating the little sign that read 'no one under 21 beyond this point'.

We had just started playing darts when suddenly Mr. Bouncer reappears. He walks up to Craig and says, 'you can't be back here. Only people over 21 and you don't have I.D.' Craig asked to see the manager and, after the manager came over, Craig started pleading his case. The end compromise, he could stay and finish his dart game, then must retreat to the all-ages section.

The whole time this little scene was playing out, however, two young girls were right next to us playing skee-ball. Now, I'm no great whiz at guessing anybody's age, but there is no way that these girls were a day over 10. And not a word was said to them about being in the 'over 21 area', while Craig, who is clearly not a day under 28, was being forced out.

Doubtful that these ten year old girls had some killer fake I.D.s, Craig pointed out to the manager that not a word was said to them about their presence in the 'Over 21' area as Randy and I made comments about how cruel it was for Craig, this grumpy old man, to request that these poor girls be kicked off of their Skee-ball game. The manager, ignoring Randy and I, made the two girls leave.

We also left, and spent the rest of the night at a different bar. One that accepts social security cards as valid forms of I.D. and where grumpy old men can drink in peace, unfettered from the annoying noise of kids playing Skee-Ball.