therapy

Quite possibly, due to a residual post-wedding hang-over, feelings of loneliness have set up shop on my psyche. The same thing happened a few years back when my little brother got married, then, the very next day, my kid sister got engaged. A whole whirlwind of feelings led me to my first, and only, trip to a therapist.

I went in for the hour session, told Dr. Harvey why I was there, and he began reminiscing about his failed marriage with his first wife. Why they got married. Why it went wrong. The way he felt when it went wrong. Why he felt that he felt the way he felt when it went wrong and how he imagined his wife felt about the way he felt. As I sat there, I began wondering who, exactly, was the person in therapy and if he really shouldn't have been paying me.

As we entered into the third year of Dr. Harvey's marriage, I interrupted and asked, "Isn't this session supposed to be about me?"

"Of course it is," Harvey responded, "I'm just providing you with some background so you can understand that your problem is one shared by many people." He then proceeded to talk for the remainder of the hour.

With the final minutes of my session ticking down, Dr. Harvey told me he really thought that I needed to see him again...quite an insight considering I barely got a word in during the tale of his failed marriage.

I told him I really didn't think it was necessary.

He told me I was depressed.

I told him that, I really didn't feel depressed. In truth, after listening to his story for the past hour, I felt quite relieved that I wasn't him. His life was much more of a mess than mine.

He told me that I wasn't the doctor...he was. And who could better identify depression than a trained professional? He told me that I really was depressed and needed to see him again the very next week. I told him that I'd call his secretary and schedule an appointment, then quickly left.

I never did call. I figured that regardless of whether he wanted to talk more about his ex-wife, or whether he had another payment due on his Porsche, Dr. Harvey was going to have to get along without me.

One result of all this, though, was the need to start fresh somewhere new, which led to a sudden move south to DC. And now, that 'new start' itch has started itching again. I moved back because Pittsburgh is where my family is. Pittsburgh is where I want to stay...right?

But then again, Boston has always seemed like a pretty interesting place...