disgruntled and dangerous

The office is getting to be a strange place.

At one end of the office is a lady named Pat who, while being an extremely nice lady, is really quite a redneck. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing...on the contrary, some of her stories can be quite amusing.

Of course, some are quite frightening too. Today she was talking about her ten year old daughter who recently got a BB gun. It seems that one night over dinner, her daughter announced to the family that she wanted a silencer for her BB gun. Automatically I was thinking that this was clearly some type of redneck mafia thing, but that proved to be inaccurate.

It turned out that the cops drove up to Pat's house the other day because a neighbor had been complaining about all of the loud 'pings' that were being created whenever her daughter would shoot his aluminum tool shed with her BB gun.

She told Pat that she really needed this silencer to 'silence' the sound of these 'pings' so that the neighbor wouldn't know that his tool shed was being shot up. Pat has said before that she thinks her daughter will either grow up to be President or a criminal mastermind. I have a pretty good guess as to which of these she's going to be.

At the other end of the office you will find Eric, one of our IT guys. Eric, it has been discovered, has been downloading an awful lot of porn onto the company's server. So much, in fact, that he had maxed out our bandwidth...which explains, why our internet connection has been so slow for the last several months.

His fellow IT worker caught on today, reported him to the boss, and we now have one less employee in the office. Upon leaving, I was told, that he claimed to have knowledge of illegally licensed software on our office computers and that he was planning on blowing the whistle on the old twit that owns the place.

It's safe to say that he now falls into the 'disgruntled employee' category. And being that my new cubicle just happens to be right across from the door, if he comes back one day carrying one of these BB guns with a silencer, it's likely that I'll be getting the first round of buckshot in the butt.