puddles

Upon entering work this morning, I was greeted with the announcement, "all men please report to the conference room!"

And while my suspicions were raised, I was pretty much expecting the annual 'sexual harassment' training that every company seems required to hold. The basic gist of these are, don't touch suggestively, look at suggestively, talk to suggestively, or do anything that could even remotely suggest anything.

So Alex, one of our supervisors, stands up and says, "Ralph, the guy who owns the building, has approached me and he's extremely upset...he seems to think that someone in our office has been intentionally peeing all over the floor."

Now just last week, Ralph, got upset because someone closed the lunch room door during lunch. Apparently, he made a 'rule' that the lunch room door must stay open at all times because closing it disrupts the 'air flow'. Now where this air wants to flow to, and where it's flowing from, I really have no idea. But Ralph obviously feels that this disruption of air will cause the walls of the building to implode or something. Anyway, a few days after this new 'rule' was stated, somebody shut the door. As a result, Ralph took the door off the hinges. We haven't seen it since.

"I told Ralph that there are other guys besides just us in this building," Alex continued, "but Ralph insisted that it's someone in our office. He threatened to lock the men's room door if it continues, and while I don't think he can legally lock the bathroom, if you've been peeing on the floor, please stop."

My thoughts that this job is secretly kindergarten all over again have been confirmed. But I'll tell you this right now, the minute we have to start raising our hands to be excused from our cubicles, I'm going to quit...and I plan on taking my crayons and Play-Doh home with me when I do!