make me an offer

Stuff is really expensive. I mean, REALLY expensive. The simple fact is, I just don't make enough to buy the necessities of life...necessities being big screen TVs, fancy electronic gadgets, top shelf liquor, fast convertibles...you know, those type of necessities.

So due to the fact that I need more cash and have a great new parking space (my promotion came with this parking space...not a raise, mind you, just an improvement in where I can stop my car) I've decided to combine these two things in order to improve the current quality of my life. I've decided to rent out my good parking space to folks in the office.

Now, parking isn't really at a premium where I work, but can you really ever be too close to the front door? I think not. So I figure for a simple buck a day...$20 for the month...I'll gladly rent my spot to whoever wants it, complete with a hand written piece of paper that I'll tape over the current sign that says, 'this spot reserved for management' which will declare the spot to be theirs for the length of their rental period, or until it rains and the piece of paper disintegrates.

I often think how great it would be if we, as a society, went back to the barter system...much like they did hundreds of years ago. Medical attention for a sack of grain. A couple of chickens in exchange for a new wheel for your wagon. This type of economy would fit into my current financial capabilities very well. I'd love to be able to walk into a McDonald's and trade a slightly used textbook, a solar calculator and a couple of mechanical pencils for a cheeseburger and fries. Or a six pack of beer for my three pet goldfish, a remote control to a busted television set, and a box of Kleenex. I like to think that I would thrive in this new flea-marketization economy. And if you've been looking for a really cool flashlight and a few half-dead house plants, then I'm your man! For the right price, these fine items could be yours.