mommified

I was friends with this girl in high school named Carol, and this girl was incredibly sexy. Attractive, beautiful red hair, sexy hazel eyes, and she owned this one pair of tight pants that turned her butt into a true work of art. I saw her the other day at the supermarket, and barely recognized her.

Carol: "Oh my God! How have you been?"

Me: "Carol? Is that you?"

Carol: "Yes! I haven't seen you in years! You're looking good."

Me: "Yeah, uh...thanks...um, you look, uh...what is that purple stain on your sweat pants?"

Carol: "Oh that, my youngest son Jared threw his peanut butter and jelly toast across the kitchen today. I just didn't seem to find a chance to change out of these old clothes. Kids! You know, I love them, but sometimes you just need to get away."

Me: "Yeah, kids...what're you going to do. So did you move back into town?"

Carol: "No, I'm just up visiting my folks. My husband wanted to catch a baseball game downtown. Usually I won't let him go. But he hasn't seen his college friends in a while, so I figured that one afternoon wouldn't be too bad. We're leaving early tomorrow, so I told him that I wasn't going to let him hang out at a bar with his friends tonight. I mean, one beer at the ball park is enough, you know...besides, it's his turn to watch Jared tonight because I was heading over to Jen's house...you might remember her from high school..."

Me: "Hey, yeah, wasn't she the one that..."

Carol: "So I didn't want my mom and dad to be stuck with Jared all alone, he can be pretty energetic sometimes, and I told Steve, my husband, that he had better be back by eight. So how have you been? Man, it's good to see you...so are you seeing anybody?"

Me: "Uh, nope, still single...well, um, it seems like you're pretty loaded down with those boxes of Teddy Grahams there, so, uh, I'm going to just get going."

Carol: "Jared just loves these! They're the only thing that keeps him quiet in the car, so I decided to stock up on them for the three hour drive home tomorrow. Well, you take care!"

Another fond memory has just been shattered. And women wonder why men are so afraid of marriage.