where's karma when you need it?

Senile. Condescending. Insane. All are perfect adjectives to describe the old twit that owns the company I work for. This was clear even from my interview, when she asked if I could type. I've been typing for quite a while now, so naturally I said 'yes'. Questioning, perhaps, that someone could truly master an advanced skill such as typing, she leaned in closer, raised an eyebrow, and said in that tone of voice which suggests that you've just been caught in a lie, 'yes, but can you type without looking at the keys?'. Once again I said yes, and got the job...obviously I passed the rigorous entrance exam. Since this time, she has taken great joy in belittling, accusing, and screaming at me and every other employee in the office. She tends to rotate her scapegoat on a weekly basis. This way, once your week is up, you know that you're off the hook for a good month or two.

But with jobs so hard to come by in this area, I'm pretty much at her mercy. I've got no other discernible skills, probably won't be winning the lottery any time soon, and while I have considered selling my body to science, they are usually only willing to pay the big bucks for parts which I consider to be really important...like hearts and livers and that type of stuff.

On the bright side, she's off to London for the next week and a half. Which means that a brief period of sunshine will fall upon the office. And, with any luck, some international incidence with the British Government will land her in Scotland yard. Perhaps the Queen will sentence her to a severe caning due to an obnoxious comment made to young Prince William. And, because this is my fantasy, the Brits will sell her to some roving band of gypsies, who will in turn donate her to the Indonesian Space fund, where she'll be blasted off into the stratosphere in some poorly constructed space vehicle made of adobe and bamboo, which will spontaneously burst into flames and fall back to Earth, landing in a jungle somewhere in Zimbabwe, where a small pack of pigmy warriors will mistake her charred remains as a feast from the gods, and devour her...only to get an extremely bad case of the runs a few short hours later.

Now that would be some sweet karma!