how to create a mass murderer

On the radio the other morning, I heard a local radio host interviewing two members of PETA. Now, I have nothing against animals...in all actuality, I like animals quite a bit. They're cuddly, faithful companions, and provide a sympathetic ear when you've had a bad day...they may not actually be listening, but at least they don't interrupt in the middle of your complaining. I could easily see myself as a member of PETA if it weren't for one little problem. I tend to find our little friends to be very tasty.

Not all of them, mind you. I have no real desire to dine on dog or to cook any cats. But as for those pigs, cows, and chickens...well, I'd rather have them on my plate then as a pet.

Hearing this radio interview reminded me of Norma, who was an assistant teacher that worked with me several years ago while teaching in a pre-k classroom. She mentioned to me one day that she thought it was terrible that I would do things like swat flies while the kids were in the room. Apparently, she felt that the unsanitary conditions caused by the fly as it crawled all over Ashley's vanilla wafer cookie was much more acceptable than the violence of swatting at the fly.

"You know," she told me, "if the children see you killing flies, they're going to come to believe that killing things is okay, and then before you know it they will be out on the streets killing people. All living things on the Earth are part of God's plan, and you should respect all life."

A few things here. First off, I don't care how young a kid is, if they don't understand the basic differences between bugs and humans, I think fearing that someday they may kill someone should be the least of our worries. Secondly, the way I see it, God gave those bugs a whole world full of swamps, trees, grass, and all that other nature crap to fly and buzz around in. That's a whole lot of space for something the size of a bug. Now if these little critters decide to come indoors and invade the little space that I happen to be in at the moment, then I figure that they get what they get. And if that happens to be a newspaper aimed at splattering their insides all over the front page of the sports section, then so be it. But try as I may to explain this to Norma, she just didn't seem to get it...insisting that I was creating a blood thirsty gang of three and four year olds that were destined to become serial killers.

And after her frequent lecture series on the dangers of killing bugs, I was ready to strangle her. So in a sense, I guess she was right. Killing bugs can turn you into a murderer.