relationships...it's all about reciprocation

Yesterday was spent doing errands. First was a furniture store where, according to the Sunday ads, I could find some great deals on some fabulous items. Nothing impressed me all that much, however. Then it was off to Wal-Mart, where I was hoping to find a decent phone that actually allowed me to hear the people that were calling me. Then I headed to the grocery store to grab some food for the week. And it was at about this time that I realized the horrible truth about my entire afternoon. I happened to glance down and realized that my fly was down.

I discretely positioned the bag of potato chips that I was holding, and quickly zipped up. Then sped to a different aisle, head down in shame. Three different stores, mobs of people, and me with my fly down the whole time...luckily it was an underwear day.

And you see, this is just another reason I need a woman in my life. Strangers won't come up to you and try to help spare your dignity by pulling you aside and saying, 'hey buddy, zip that thing up, would ya?' No, they let you wander around, oblivious to the fact that you look like an ass.

You need someone whose dignity is tied more closely to your own. Someone that will give you a once over to make sure that everything is in place. No globs of shaving cream behind your ear. No toilet paper stuck to the heel of your shoe. And definitely that your fly isn't hovering at half mast or, in my case, much further down than half mast. And she could have told me right then, 'Dear, you might just want to zip up before we head out.'

And, in return, I could have given her a once over and perhaps have caught a tiny oversight that might have caused her some embarrassment by mentioning, 'hey honey, it appears that your left breast has popped out of your halter top...you may want to slip that baby back into place.'

Either way, you really need someone looking out for you.