couchless

Today was 'furniture arrival' day. The same furniture that, a day before, my Marketing Management professor described as being 'a step above suck' because it was purchased and being delivered by those nice folks at Levin. New furniture was needed, you see, because the place in DC where I had previously been for the last couple of years, was fully furnished. After moving out of a furnished apartment, you soon realize just how little you have. Sure there's the TV set and computer...but no stand or desk to put those things on and no couch or chair to watch them from. While I find floors to be perfect for walking on, I prefer not to watch TV from them, check email from them, and sleep on them. Minimalism is not what I look for in an apartment.

So seating and sleeping were the main furnishings being provided by Levin. The remainder was supplied by those nice Swedes at IKEA...who, as my Marketing Manager told us all, sells furniture that is on the same level as dog crap. Personally, I think our Swedish friends are quite ingenious. Seriously now, where else are you going to buy coffee tables and bookshelves that you build using a little piece of metal that resembles the letter 'S'?

The van arrived, the furniture began it's procession up the elevator...bed, dresser, chair...and then an unusually long lull in the action. A phone call soon followed.

"Hi, this is Joe, the guy who's been moving your furniture in? We've got a problem down here." I told him I'd be right down, noticed that no elevators were working, and descended eight flights of steps to the lobby.

This is when I saw that one of the two apartment elevators were partially disassembled with my couch sticking about half way out.

"We're having trouble fitting this thing in the elevator," Joe told me, though I'd pretty much gathered this from the assortment of items he had laying around him on the floor. This included the legs of my couch, the drop down ceiling of the elevator, and all of the lights from the elevator as well.

"I guess what I need to know is how bad you want this thing," Joe said, "you see, we can get the couch up there, the only problem is that to get it in the elevator we'll have to mess it up a little bit. The bottom will probably get ripped up and we might have to break some of the boards in the back of the couch to squeeze it into the elevator...but nobody will be seeing the back of the couch anyway, so it might not be too bad."

I almost started laughing until I realized that Joe was serious. He wasn't being nasty or rude, though. The guy had a job to do and this was the best solution he could think up.

"You know Joe, let's take the couch back to the store. I'll head up later today, get my refund and pick a new one that will fit in the elevator."

"Yeah, that'll work too," Joe answered. So back on the truck went the couch. Back to Levin went I. And a different couch will be arriving in two weeks. Hopefully this one will fit. And hopefully someone new will be delivering it. It's nothing against Joe, mind you, I just prefer my furniture to be in one piece with everything intact by the time it reaches my apartment. Call me picky, but I guess it's just one of those peculiar quirks that I have.