dental economics

I just got back from the dentist’s office, and I always find myself torn between two ways of thinking before every visit. On the one hand, I want to get out of there fast. This means that right before going, I brush and floss like the world’s most dentally conscious person. Not to brag, but I truly do put on an Olympic performance of oral hygiene. This way, after a few scraps and a polishing, I’m done. Minimal time. Minimal commitment. Just the way I like my dental visits.

On the other hand, by doing this I’m really not getting my moneys worth. For an x-ray and a couple of scrapes (and a free toothbrush, which I weaseled out of the dentist today) they charge an awful lot for what seems to be very little work. Sure they have to dig around in people’s mouths, but whose choice was this? Don’t ask me to feel sympathy when you’re the one that decided a career of cleaning out past lunches from people’s mouths sounded like a good way to spend the hours between nine and five. So I often feel like, right before going to the dentist, stopping at McDonald’s and getting a super-sized combo meal…Big Mac, large fries, a tooth-rotting soft drink, and an apple pie. At least this way, I’ll be getting top dollar for my dental appointment. The downside to getting the most value for my money, though, is increased time in that chair while the dentist scrapes and drills away. The increased time spent spitting and stuck with that little suction tube hanging out of my mouth isn’t a whole lot of fun either.

In the long run, I opted for the quick…and less painful…visit. True, I didn’t get the best deal possible, but I’m pretty satisfied with my choice. I waited until afterwards to chow down on a Big Mac. Money-wise, I lost. But there’s a certain satisfaction in knowing that I just ruined all of my dentist’s handiwork.