some gifts are best kept out of the bathroom

Many people enjoy catching up on their reading while on the can, which is why many bathrooms across the country are stocked with past issues of Newsweek, Sports Illustrated and Motor Trend. And it's my guess that if libraries were stocked with toilet stalls rather than those uncomfortable wooden chairs, much more reading would get done there.

My father, on the other hand, rarely illuminates his mind while on the toilet by reading up on monthly periodicals. Rather, he plays Yatzee. When we see him arm himself with that little, hand-held Yatzee game and head into the bathroom, we know that we won't be seeing him again for quite awhile.

And while most fathers are reading up on the latest million dollar trade that the Yankee's have made, or the newest sports car model that Corvette will be offering for the upcoming year, my dad is trying to beat his previous high score by stringing multiple Yatzee's together. We're all aware of his game playing habits, so this year my sister decided that she would try to broaden his bathroom experience by getting him another game.

She bought him this little virtual reality racing game, complete with those little glasses that you slip on to make the racing experience that much more 'real', or as real as a $20 virtual racing game can be.

After dad opened the gift, and my sister explained the thought process behind her purchase, I couldn't help but think of the perils that this type of gift could bring about. So I pointed out that perhaps a virtual reality game might be best kept out of the bathroom because I could just imagine dad on the toilet, virtual glasses in place, taking hard right turns, veering quickly to the left, accelerating and braking like crazy. And, as is often the case with these driving games, shifting, twisting and leaning forward and back in relation to the action of the game. All of which may lead to quite a mess throughout the bathroom, because all of that twisting and leaning while nature is calling could lead to a decorative overhaul in hues of yellow and brown.

My dad thanked my sister for the gift, and even tried it out while on the couch after all the presents had been unwrapped, but oddly enough, the little game never did make it into the bathroom.