statistically speaking

I love numbers. Not the adding, subtracting, balance my checkbook kind of numbers, no, I mean that it's those worthless, pointless little statistical numbers that interest me so much. Is this obsession with statistics a guy thing, or is everyone just as intrigued by all this data as I am? Whatever the case, these little numbers consume a great deal of my brain space.

The fact that Blondie had four number one hits (which is 17 less than the Beatles, but one more than Milli Vanilli), and that Charles Schultz drew 17,897 Peanuts comics are of little practical value. Yet I find this much more interesting than learning how to rebuild an engine or acquainting myself with the various tax laws...both of which could actually lead to employment somewhere. Oddly enough, many recruiters don't seem very concerned with Debbie Harry's singing accolades.

This obsessive statistic compulsion does have its downside, though. Take monster.com, for example. I realize that posting a resume on the site is a fruitless endeavor. Thousands of resumes are posted, very few are actually read. To date, my resume has garnered exactly 141 views…though keep in mind that this has been over the course of six years. The majority of these views, I highly suspect, have been from insurance companies. And while I should feel honored that Nationwide and New England Financial all want me to sell insurance for them, I really don't find much comfort in it.

Sadly, my numbers are always lacking. Yet, I’m compelled to check all these silly little stats…and let me tell you, the stats just aren’t living up their potential. I’ve tried talking to them, encouraging them to increase, explaining that they are capable of so much more…just add a few zeros to the end, I plead…yet they just don’t want to listen.

And for a brief moment, I consider doing away with all the little counters, and site meters, and inbound link lists, but then realize how silly it would be. Because how am I supposed to gauge my self-worth if I don’t know what all these numbers are?