car hunt

I have a very nondescript car. There are cars, such as Ferraris and Porsches, that really stick out and make people take notice…but alas, my car is not one such car. And while I wouldn’t mind driving around in a Ferrari or Porsche, I have accepted that this will never happen. Not unless I decide to live in this Porsche or Ferrari…and not eat food for several months. The whole food issue aside, the very fact that there would be no possible way to get cable inside my car pretty much puts an end to the possibility that I might establish a permanent residence in it.

And being that my car is so commonplace, many other people drive a car exactly like mine. Which, normally, shouldn’t cause any problem at all. If anything, I should take solace in the fact that I have chosen such a popular model, thus firmly establishing myself in the norm, thus avoiding any label of ‘freak’ by the general population.

Problems will often present themselves when trying to actually locate my car, however. In my apartment complex there are no assigned parking spots. It’s strictly a ‘first come, first park’ kind of arrangement. And if you’re lucky enough to find a spot close to the main entrance, the desire to remain indoors and not leave your apartment for several days is very strong. The choice becomes, go to the supermarket and get a loaf of unstale, non-moldy bread, or be assured that the number two parking space a mere 20 feet from the front door will remain yours. When faced with this choice, you often realize that fresh bread is greatly over-rated in comparison to an incredible parking spot.

Outside of the few ‘choice’ spots, though, the exact position of where you parked your car becomes pretty hazy...especially in the early morning hours. Being that there are very few landmarks to help guide you to the location of your car, you’re left to simply identify by model and color. Much like an Easter egg hunt on asphalt…except that the Easter eggs are grossly oversized. Now, if my car was a Porsche, chances are I’d find it with no problems at all. But within my apartment building, there are several cars that look exactly like mine.

And just this morning, I headed to my car, stuck the key in the door, unlocked it and sat down prepared to drive off for the day. I glanced at the passenger seat and saw, to my surprise, that there was a purse sitting there. Quite sure that I didn’t own a purse, I was confused as to how it came to be resting on my passenger seat. The pink sunglasses sitting in the console were a bit of a mystery too…especially considering that I’ve never looked good in pink. I’ve always considered myself to be more of a ‘fall’ person. The clincher, however, was the sudden appearance of a sunroof directly overhead…because unless my car suddenly developed this sunroof on its own, this car was most likely not mine.

So I carefully slinked out of the driver’s seat, glanced around the parking lot to make sure nobody witnessed my erroneous car entrance, than quietly walked off in search of the correct car. However, due to my honesty of not looking through the purse which sat on the passenger seat…which I had thought was MY passenger seat…I rewarded myself with a mint that was in the console right next to the pink sunglasses.

Wondering what other cars my key might open up, I spent the next five minutes trying the doors of all the other cars that were identical to mine to see if I could open any of them as well. I only got to a few before I realized that other people were heading out for the day and were giving me odd looks. I quickly got into my car and peeled out of the parking lot.

And while I didn’t find any other cars that my key could open, at least I know exactly where to go for a mint next time I’m lost and wandering through the parking lot.