there are such things as a stupid question

Yet another round of graduate classes has started up, this time of the statistics variety. And while the students in class are not the most statistically adept people in the world…hence the reason we’re in the class to begin with…you do expect everyone to be at least somewhat versed in math. Things like addition, subtraction, and at least a little bit of knowledge regarding numbers should definitely have been aced somewhere along the way in order to make it to the graduate level.

The professor was introducing a new topic when a student named Daniel raised his hand to ask a question.

“You know how you mentioned these whole numbers a minute ago,” Daniel asked.

“Sure,” the professor answered, “when discussing discrete random variables, the value must always be a whole number. With continuous random variables, however, this isn’t the case.”

“Yeah, yeah, but what’s a whole number?”

And for the next five minutes, we were transported back to elementary school while our professor had us all counting out loud, explaining that whole numbers can also be called ‘counting numbers’.

As if this weren’t bad enough, during the break Daniel approached a group of us and started talking about how itchy his ass was…because, Dan told us, he enjoys tanning in the nude. His proclamation was followed by irrefutable proof when he pulled his pants half way down his rear to reveal his burnt buttocks.

You know, I truly want to believe that this degree is going to be worth something. A degree that will help me get a job. A degree that, when other people hear where I got it, will respond by saying what a ‘good’ college it is, thus adding a touch of prestige to the little piece of paper that I’m paying so very, very much for.

Yet, I’m quite sure that the students at Harvard all know what a whole number is and don’t go around interjecting and providing visuals about their sunburned butt.

Sadly, the school I chose to attend is clearly no Harvard.