twin forces of gravity

Kristi, the recent college graduate who works in the purchasing department, had a question for me today and stopped by my office. She started asking me about the billing invoice process and how accounts were credited for damaged merchandise. While she was talking, I couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing a very low cut shirt.

Knowing that there was an ample amount of cleavage hovering just below my line of sight, I made a Herculean effort to look her straight in the eyes…and only the eyes. The strenuous effort needed to accomplish this task occupied most of my attention.

Meanwhile, Kristi was continuing with her question…something about the forms used, or the used forms…I really wasn’t sure because I was finding it very difficult to listen, since the majority of available space in my brain was busy thinking, ‘do not look at her breasts…do not look at her breasts…’

Einstein really should have come up with some equation or theory or something to explain the magnetic force that can be created by two breasts…because the gravitation pull was amazing. Her boobs were like twin Jupiters drawing my eyeballs into orbit around them. But still, overcoming the basic laws of physics, I was able to refrain from letting my eyes drift below her neck.

I realized, at this point, that she had stopped talking and was waiting for some type of response. But because I was still busy spending every ounce of energy willing my eyes to keep from looking at her breasts…breasts which were still trying to tempt me by threatening to burst from the thin cotton veneer that was so poorly holding them in…that I had absolutely no idea what she had just finished asking. So I did the only thing that I could think of in my fatigued mental state…I jumped up and exclaimed, ‘Boy, am I thirsty!’, and sped out of my office telling her as I flew down the hall that I would look into the matter and email her with an answer as soon as possible.

After a few minutes, when I was certain that the coast was clear and Kristi would have surely taken her breasts and returned to her desk, I left the break room and headed back to my office. And with a sigh of relief I sat back down, glad that I had been able ignore her boobs.

And for the rest of the day, I could think of nothing else.