pre-dinner conversations to whet the appetite

I was having dinner with Pam this weekend at one of those trendy restaurants. As we sat sipping our wine, I noticed that a birthday was underway near the bar. Shots were being poured all around, so I suspected that this was a birthday of the 21st variety.

"I've never been a huge shot fan," I told Pam who was browsing through the entree portion of her menu, "but I'd really like to find a good shot that you light on fire before drinking."

"Why on Earth would you want to drink that?" she asked.

"Because you have two of mankind’s greatest inventions, fire and alcohol, packed into one little shot glass. It's like those old Reese's Peanut Butter Cups commercials where one guy dropped his chocolate into someone else's peanut butter and an incredibly tasty snack food was born," I reasoned.

"How would you even drink something like that? The alcohol would all burn off."

"You're supposed to drink it while it's still blazing away," I told her.

"That’s ridiculous!" she said. "Besides, your nose hair would probably catch on fire the minute you tipped the glass back. It would look like a smoldering Brillo pad stuffed up your nose!"

“If your nose hair is so long that a flaming shot is going to create a brushfire,” I responded, “then it's probably a sign that you should have trimmed up there long ago”.

A few minutes after this, I excused myself to the bathroom. Worried that Pam was perhaps trying to tell me that I had an excessive amount of nose hair, I did a thorough examination of my nostril area. Thumbing my nose at my reflection, I carefully checked to make sure no stray wisps were evident.

Satisfied that I had my nose hair growth under control, I did a quick hand wash and headed back to our table...but made a mental note that, if I ever did try a flaming shot of alcohol, I would definitely trim prior to downing the concoction. Because while I don't have a flowing mane cascading out of my nostrils, I'd still rather be safe than sorry. Besides, who wants to spend an evening with the smell of burnt hair lingering up your nose.