everything is new again

The lazy, endless days of my unemployment are long over, and I find that I am slowly readjusting to the routine of wake, work, and sleep once again. Granted, this new job isn’t a readjustment that my body is accepting whole-heartedly, but adjusting none the less.

And lately, there has been an onslaught of ‘newness’ which has been occurring. Four weeks ago, the job came into existence.

Three weeks ago I was informed by my landlord that my rent would be going up $75 a month. I’ve been a good tenant…I rarely complain, don’t throw wild orgies late into the night, and always pay my rent on time. So, when I asked why the steep increase in rent, I was told, “you should have known it was going up, with the cost increase of heat and all.”
I expected a hike in rent, not a cross country road trip. So I’m moving out at the end of the month into a new apartment.

Two weeks ago, I got a flat tire. I took my car to get it replaced, and was told that in addition to a new tire, there was an extra $1000 worth of work that needed to be done. When I asked if all these repairs were necessary, I was told, “well, if you don’t get them done, there’s a good possibility that you’ll be driving down the road, lose the ability to steer, and will most likely die.”

My car, which was rapidly nearing 160,000 miles, simply didn’t seem like a solid investment. So I cut my losses and bought a new car. Not a ‘new-new’ car, which implies a straight off the lot, never been driven car, but a ‘new to me’ car, which implies ‘used’ but sounds better if the word ‘new’ is thrown in there somewhere.

So within a month, new job, new apartment, new car. And I keep waiting for the complete ‘new’ transformation. That one morning I’ll wake up and the same old, regular me, will be gone and looking back at me from the mirror will be the ‘new’ debonair, dashing, and darkly handsome me. A brand new me, complete with warranty…that if I tire of the new tall, dark, and handsome me, I can trade it back in for the old model.

But each morning I find that I’m still always me. The old me. Despite the new car, new job, new apartment, there’s nothing really ‘new’ about me. And while I guess that there was nothing really wrong with the old me, I wouldn’t mind test driving an upgraded version of me…taller and more confident, with leather interior and a fully stocked mini-bar…at least for a little while.