shiver me timbers

I saw my sister over the holiday season, and while we were catching up over a cup of coffee, she called my two year old nephew into the kitchen.

“Tell your uncle what Santa says.”

My nephew looked up at me and, in the deepest and jolliest voice that his two-year old vocal chords could muster, said, “Ho Ho Ho, and a bottle of rum!”

My sister sat, wearily shaking her head while my nephew ran off to delve back into his newly acquired toys. “I don’t know where he got this from,” she said. “I keep telling him that pirates say ‘Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum’ not ‘Ho-ho-ho and a bottle of rum’. Santa just says ‘Ho ho ho’.”

“Well,” I reasoned, “he has reindeer instead of a parrot, a sleigh instead of a ship, and they both carry around bags of loot. I guess that I can see the similarity.”

“We’re talking about Santa!” she exclaimed. “The personification of Christmas! Good tidings, generosity, and spending time with your family! Not pillaging and raping! He’s only two years old and I’ve already ruined him!”

I tried consoling her by explaining that mistaking catchphrases didn’t indicate poor parenting skills. Rather, it simply pointed out the fact that more pop-cultural knowledge was needed…something that the television would certainly provide in the years to come.

“Why don’t you try talking to him,” my sister suggested.

I headed off to the family room where I found my nephew sitting at the base of a mountainous heap of toys. I sat down and while I had the best of intentions, I couldn’t think of anyway to adequately explain the Santa-Pirate conundrum that my sister found herself in.

Still, I hated to let a learning experience pass by. So after only a few short minutes, I had my nephew running around the house yelling, “Merry Christmas Ye Mateys!”