not even close

Traffic was at a standstill this afternoon, and I was stuck in the middle of an endless sea of gleaming brake lights. Inwardly groaning, and flipping incessantly from radio station to radio station as if the dial could somehow magically accelerate the cars in front of me, I sadly had to conclude that I wouldn't be plopping myself down on the couch anytime in the near future.

I sat back in the driver's seat, frustrated but resigned to this fact...hoping that there would at least be a payoff several miles up the road. This isn't to say that I'm cold-hearted, however. I care just as much for humanity as the next person, and rarely do I take pleasure in other folk's misfortune...but when stuck in apocalyptic traffic such as this, I want to see that a spectacular wreck was the root cause of it all.

Not necessarily a death and dismemberment type of wreck...but a multiple vehicle, twisted metal one with lots of flashing police and ambulance lights suffices nicely. At least this way, all the waiting can be justified and a quick glance at mayhem that isn't mine, and, for me, this tends to be payment enough for having just been parked on the parkway for hours.

But when traffic is stopped for no apparent reason, this is when I become incensed and outraged...at the public transportation department, the original city planners (who felt that two lanes in each direction would suffice for years to come), and at the road itself (why the hell couldn't it aspire to be just a little bit wider!)

As I sat, I began to wonder when those Jetson-esque flying cars would finally be invented. I've never bought a new car right off the lot, but a Jetson car would surely be worth the price, I figured. With one of those babies, I could simply hover up above the ever-expanding row of traffic and glide myself home in mere minutes!

Of course, this theory only works if I'm the only one that actually owns a Jetson car. And the idea of inventing one crossed my mind, but the fact that I can barely make a grilled cheese sandwich let alone a hovering mass of glass and metal meant that my flying days were far in the future.

Still, the thought that I could escape the boredom of everyday life was intoxicating...to just leave the traffic far below and be free. Nothing would hold me back any longer. Wind whipping past me, I'd be able to leave gravity, bosses, deadlines, and worries behind. And for those few short minutes everything would seem possible...a better life just within my grasp.

But the cars surrounding me remained at a standstill and home was still miles away. And as I sat and stared out the window shield, I knew there was still a long way to go.