a laugh track life

I've decided that my life would be much better if it had a laugh track.

Much like a sitcom on television, I need audience participation to truly enhance my life. Which isn't to say that I want anyone actually watching me, though. Because unlike those TV shows that are taped in front of a live studio audience, I want to live in front of a taped studio audience.
I don't think that nearly enough people appreciate how funny I am, and a laugh track would help. This way, even if the people I'm around didn't get the joke, the laugh track would let them know that it was, in fact, incredibly funny. A laugh track would make my life perfect.

Of course, other audience sound effects would improve things too. Like when I come home at the end of the day. By simply adding a sound effect of people cheering...just like when Kramer walks through Jerry's door in Seinfeld, or when Norm enters the bar in Cheers...I'd feel much more welcome when walking into my empty apartment. And an 'oooohing' and 'aaaahhhing' of the audience whenever I'm on a date and about to go in for that first kiss would really help me out in the romance department. Yes, with these two small improvements, my life would be perfect.

Though, naturally, a catchy theme song would be nice too. Instead of plain, old me walking into a room, a theme song would really accentuate my presence and keep people remembering me long after I'm gone. How could someone possibly forget me if there was always an addictive little tune stuck in their heads? Yes, an audience laugh track and theme song are really the only things I need in order for life to be perfect.

But, then again, with all these improvements, my life might actually get syndicated. And I could really use the extra money. So a laugh track, theme song, and syndication money, are all I'd need for life to be absolutely perfect.

Of course, I could also use a corporate sponsor and maybe a hair stylist and a personal assistant, and...